Orgasmicity - Fancy way to say horny!

Orgasmicity - Fancy way to say horny!

Opening to the flow. Orgasmicity isn’t just about having orgasms. It is allowing the flow of sexual energy to pass through your body. A technical definition of an orgasm would be something like ‘the sudden discharge of accumulated sexual excitement during the sexual response cycle, resulting in rhythmic muscular contractions in the pelvic region characterized by sexual pleasure’ (wikipedia).

If we expand that to include the whole body then we are talking about a wider experience of orgasmicity. This is really fascinating me now, as a professional sex therapist and sexological bodyworker, and as a person that loves pleasure. How can we open more to feel more? Instead of just having a single moment of orgasm, lets see what it feels like to be an orgasm.

I’ve followed this trail back to a brilliant researcher, psychoanalyst and bodyworker called Wilhelm Reich. He pioneered many concepts relating to healthy sexuality and well being. His bodywork focused on the releasing of body armour. The idea was that when we experience shocks or trauma in life, that these events congeal in our bodies as tension. They get stored there and restrict the movement of pleasure and sensations. This armouring can occur in sections along the body from the skull down to the pelvis. By applying pressure to these areas the muscular memory tension can be released and the sexuality can flow again. This is also linked to feeling safe and aroused. These are the two key things I talk to people about in sessions. When we are more relaxed it is easier for the blood to flow and nerves to have more sensation. 

Doing yoga, stretches, exercise, having massage or Reichian bodywork we can have more orgasmicity. Being softer in the body and mind, we notice the subtle sensations and amplify the scent of a lover, hear the nuance of autumn rain, or the trail of nails over skin. Being an orgasm is a skill to be practiced, like learning anything. Pay attention to stimulation, allow rather than resist, fill your palette with colour; and importantly let the body be ready to receive. There is a sweet spot of balance between too tight muscles and floppy limp. Having a toned body, especially the pelvis (squats or Kegals) will permit a transmission of sensation. Of course the mind needs to be open also. If you expect sex to be blissful and fun, then its more likely to be positive and pleasureable.

While orgasimicity can be orgasmic and climactic it might be best to avoid chasing them. Orgasms are fun, or painful, or elusive or divine. When they are your goal and focus, we can miss the fine details of life. I am suggesting that feeling the small variations could be a key to great rapture.